Yesterday I took a huge step in the direction of my dream to become a published author – I actually submitted work to someone who publishes things. Mind blown, right? This dazzlingly simple thing is difficult for a lot of reasons, self-confidence and actually saying “it’s finished” being my own two biggest hurdles.
Somehow, I managed to overcome both of these and have submitted two short fiction pieces. Nothing like the power of a hard deadline to help you finally just bite the bullet and go. Sometimes that’s what you need – a good hard push. I can’t even remember now how I decided I was going to submit but once I had I worked to the deadline. Those stories were going no matter what. There were wobbles, of course. The DAY before the deadline I decided one of the stories was awful and terrible and it just wasn’t going. I went to sleep one hundred percent convinced that I just wasn’t going to send it. The only way I managed to solve the situation was stubbornness. I’d promised myself I was submitting them both. In the end, I did.
I think taking this leap was a hugely positive step, now that the dust is beginning to settle. I’d be lying if I said I had high hopes of either work being accepted, but it’s the principle of the thing. Symbolic, even. It’s about the conquering of demons, standing up to one’s own weaknesses and punting them in the face with the smack of a ‘Submit’ button. It’s about doing things I’ve never done before in the hopes that the more I do them the less scary they will become. That’s how life works, right?
Okay, so maybe some things are always scary. Standing up to those things though is important. I might be afraid of flying, but no time has been worse than the first. After that first flight, I knew what I was going into and I knew that I had come out the other side before. I gained a quiet little voice inside me that whispered ‘you can do this.’ Yesterday I faced my fears and sent stuff away, and now I’m thinking maybe I can do this.
Let’s face it, I probably have less to worry about submitting fiction than I do in a plane anyway, my brain just didn’t get that memo. I’m hoping for these two be the first of many submissions. And who knows, one day one of them might just make it through.
Did you struggle to get to the point where you were ready to submit? How did you get over it?